Let talk about time and purpose
Let’s talk about TIME , PURPOSE and my (maybe) major obsession with it……….
I’ve spent a great deal of my life worrying about time. An even greater deal worrying about what my purpose is - what am I really contributing to this life? I don’t think I actually remember a time (certainly not since my twenties) when I wasn’t worrying about it. Not enough time to do things, wishing I was younger, worrying about getting older and not living a life fulfilled - not enough time to ‘do the things I want’. And so each year, each month, each day the same cycle repeats itself.
Whenever I talk about time, if I really break it down it is actually fear. I FEAR that time will run out on me. The ironic thing ? The more I worry about time , the more I forget to live in the present. Then another year goes by and I’m another year older. Further from my ‘purpose’ and definitely a bit greyer around the gills.
My good pal summed it up perfectly last week, ‘ as you get older , time actually does go REALLY fast’. Thats a shitter, because I think it's only really when you start to come into your thirties that you actually start to value time and everything that you can do with it. Or maybe that was just me….
Times a weird one eh? We look at our watches and our calendars, the hours, days, weeks, months and years go by but how can we quantify what really happened and how do we really spend our time meaningfully for whatever amount we have left - and who the F knows that ???
I’m not afraid to say that I needed help earlier this year. My time obsession got so bad it started impacting my health so much that I couldn’t even make a decision on if I wanted a cup of tea or not. Simple question Claire - do you want one or not?? What a waste of Time those few weeks were! Queue me a dithering wreck worrying so much about time and purpose and thinking if I do that , I won’t do that and then that’s another 12 months gone!
Now I’ve seen a talking therapist who simply has been a voice of reason when I started to lose my own. For the first time in years I feel ready to just STOP and enjoy life without worrying what year it is or what is life’s great mystery and question .
As she said to me ‘maybe your purpose in this life is just to be present’. Great advice that really has challenged my thoughts and I think she’s saved me a world of pain for the next few years because finally the proverbial penny has dropped.
One of my favourite things to tell clients is “We are here to be not do - that’s why we are called human beings”, I always see a little light go on inside their head but I obviously wasn’t taking my own advise!
Well I’m happy to report living in the moment , stopping worrying about time and purpose has radically altered my thought processes which are impacting on the rest of my life. More gratitude, more present moments, less worrying, more exercise, more appreciation of the body and mind and the experiences and sometimes shit fight we call life :)
I’m a work in progress , aren’t we all?? But it sure feels liberating to look inside, deal with the fear and start living instead of worrying your way through it.
So what can we do about it on a practical level?
Well just stop worrying about it. That’s my husbands advice (for everything) but as I repeatedly point out to him , its not that simple! If, like me , and my research suggests there are a lot of us out there! , you find it a challenge to be present and want to take more ownership of your time and purpose , I have found the following to be helpful;
TalkTalk to someone. Nothing is more cathartic than getting things off your chest to an impartial and level headed onlooker. Just having someone validate you and say ‘yes , it’s perfectly normal to feel like that’ - just lets you know that you are not ready for tapping out just yet!!MeditateYeah yeah EVERYONE is talking about or doing meditation but there is a reason for that. Ive been using meditation as a tool for multiple areas of my life for many years and its one of the main things I return to again and again.
There is so much evidence out there now for the benefits of meditation on a physical and mental level that you really can’t ignore this one simple thing that’s free and accessible to everyone at any time.
If you struggle to ‘stop the mind’ - DONT.
Just acknowledge what is going on and have a conversation with yourself, you might just get the answers to a few things you weren’t expecting.
Exercise
Ultimately any of these little obsessions are born out of something close to control, fear, grief, trauma, stress and anxiety, jealousy , you know all those shitty little emotions that sometimes serve a purpose but like a hangover you don’t want to hang around too long.
When we are in this state of mind cortisol (the stress hormone) is running through our bodies which is impacting our health and wellness, impacting our sleep, state of mind, food choices etc etc. To get out of that we need more happy hormones and one of the best ways to achieve this is by exercise.
Doesn’t have to be a 2 hour run followed by a 90 minute weight session, a simple walk will do. I PROMISE you that whatever it is, moving the body is a major part of our health and wellness and it also happens to release our own natural heroin - endorphins.
Stop for a minute
Everyone has 1 minute in their day. If we can just stop for 1 minute each day to appreciate the view, that coffee and how good it tastes , your food and how nourishing it is , in the car before you get out to go somewhere - it makes us live in the present.
Not the future (it’s never happened) , not the past (did it ever happen ??!!) But in the here and now because when we are truly present we experience great happiness.
Final words? ultimately make sure you are tuned in, tapped in and turned on - that way you will be too occupied by all the good things to worry about time and purpose and ultimately never miss a beat and isn’t that what we were given this amazing thing we call a heart for ??
Wishing you peace and a quiet mind from my exhausted brain to yours :)
Claire x
‘I AM TUNED IN -TAPPED IN - AND TURNED ON’
ESTHER HICKS